Friday, May 28, 2010

Confessions and Confusions of a Narcissist !!!

Why do we say TGIF?? Why thanking only God? We should also thank Satan and all the creature in Hell Heaven and Earth, Horatio! With the dull Friday afternoon quickly coming to and end, another Week-end is approaching .. While for you, this weekend is another insignificant one in the march of many such other weekends, for me it's kinda special . You see , it's the last weekend of the 20th year of my nascent life. Now, I am the kind of person who loves to celebrate her birthday.. I am sure even when i'll turn 90 , I'd expect all my friends to arrange for a grand big cake for me and even if i suffer from diabetes mellitus and haven't left with a single teeth , I'd surely find out some ways to smuggle some portion of it inside my mouth!

Anyway , as i was saying , this week end is a bit special for me and thus I have no intention of spending it sleeping at my room , watching movies or brooding at some gothic looking bridge on the river Mutha. Whatever I do this weekend has to have a legendary flavour about it... But i dont wanna plan anything , cause my system has some rivalry with anything which is , well, systematic ! Thus, I'll start thinking about it only after Midnight ... May be , I'd just go to the station and be on board  a train w/o having any idea regarding where it goes to! But then even though it sounds interesting , somehow it ranks way beneath the legendary category : to be in that one, I need to come up with something insanely intriguing... I wish I just could go to the Pacific and swim with the dolphins where the water is as deep as forever.. But on the other hand i am not sure whether there is any dolphin in the pacific , especially post the BP oil leak ... And also it'd be prudent to come up with a more economic solution... I've already been invited to a friend's place this saturday to freak out and party all night ... But then, I met her only in the previous week in the parikrama concert I wrote about and thus I surmise I might trespass into her gregariousness if i accept her invitation .. but then i never thought much b4 doing something thus I might go but i dont want to ... Even if I end up doing the ordinary things this week-end, I wanna do them in an extra ordinary circumstances , ie even if i want to have a all night movie marathon , I just want it to be arranged in a spooky 17th century house instead of a normal modern day cage like flats... But enough blabbering about non existent plans.

Let me now tell me about a caprice of mine which led me to an Archies Gallery.  But before that I shamefully admit that I was again feeling low yesterday... I was missing my mom and yet when i called her , i could not articulate my feelings and the frustration thus generated bred into an altercation ... And after a long stretch of wandering alone underneath the Deccan Bridge ,  I was approached by a Lady and the conversation with her and her 2 kids was  a salvation for my soul.. Even though she talked to me in Marathi and I replied in English and my reply most probably didn't match her questions , I felt awfully good  about the mere flow of words with another human being despite the fact that she was a complete stranger. Next , I went to Cafe Good luck which being overcrowded, I consumed some pasta salad salad(which followed by a grand meal KFC an hour later, I must control my glutton in some way!)   in a cosy nice roadside cafe and while walking aimlessly in the road (as usual) , glanced upon this Archies Store and I immediately knew I needed to buy some cards... Now, some of you might argue against my predilection towards greeting cards.. "After all how can a mass produced line written by a stranger can be used as a greeting to some1 special ?" you'd say. You are right and maybe that's the reason why traditional cards are fighting a losing battle against customised ones (or even SMSes  !!!)  but yet sometimes we do feel like being subjugated by the bourgeois norms of the society. Thus I went inside the shop and searched for a card for my special one. Now, there were specially made cards for almost everyone: nephew, niece, brother, uncle, husband , wife , mom , dad, all the pet species starting from dog & fish to boyfriend , girlfriend &  fiancée and YET ; they somehow astoundingly forgot or ignored to keep / make cards for the most special person of any living soul's life. Yes . I am talking about the lack of cards you can dedicate to yourself . Why can't there be any cards like :" Dear ME, wish u a very happy 21st birthday !".. Why narcissism till now remains a rather tabooed trait in our society while most of us have our own share of it? Or are we too afraid to admit that we love ourselves in the fear of being considered as some poor lonely souls admired and loved by no1 else ! Isn't it the other way round? Doesn't  life become even more brighter for us when we learn to depend on ourselves ?

So, that's the food for thought for your week-end and with this I'd sign off for now .. Hopefully there'd be another post before I turn 21!

PS: I finally bought a normal 21st birthday wish kind of card ,,, will upload the snaps of it in this space once I've gifted it to myself adding a personal note underneath all the babbling written inside it!

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