Thursday, September 16, 2010

* E* & the City !

U might tag this blog as the re-incarnation of the rebel . After surviving from an air pocket and an extended jet-lag , I thought of using this lucky holiday to document my experiences of the past 4 days as a form of a travelogue (or traveblog to be more precise ) but  a chance encounter to the FB status update of a friend changed it all. So, here i am using the nets of the virtual world to fish some junks out of the surface my not too deep sea of (sub?)consciousness. 1st thing 1st . Here comes the status update :

Abhinav Singh Thakur Two no holds barred nights in Mysore with a beautiful stranger, with the promise of never to meet again. Can life get any better ;-) "

Doesn't this immediately evoke the memory of ' Before sunrise / Before Sunset' series of movies to you? It did to me and i was horrified to realize how difficult it is to have some 'good time' in this country which is the proud origin of the greatest sexopedia ever and that too written some 1800 years ago. The reason of the 'starrified'  heading of this post is that the word 'sex' , even in this era of globalization , remains a tabooed word in India . Thus an innocent picture of  PDA uploaded by my friend in FB attracted much public ire. Now the entire issue of PDA remains controversial but is it really a sin to upload the picture of a smooch online when the media is flooded by the surfeit of pictures of death and destruction ? Somehow & somewhere along the 18 centuries between 200 AD and now , hypocrisy has become an inherent trait of Indians. Thus even though the young generation loves cracking 'non-veg' jokes ,they seldom participate in open (all pun intended) conversations & they still believe in the concept of retaining one's virginity till the wedding night (or pretends to at least ) . And it's worse for girls . 

What does the society [which consists of both the males & the females who have been imbibed with the male chauvinistic philosophy] expect from women?
1>A woman shall never show her sexual hankering. This rule may have an exception when the girl is a complete stranger or a mere acquaintance with whom the male partner has no intention of having any relation the moment the deed is done.

 2>Now comes the uber-cool Boyfriends . Even though they may have some 20 GB of hidden porn folders in the hard disc and have jerked off numerous times : they not only always expect their girlfriends or wives to be virgins but also they want them not to know the meaning of the word masturbation, forget about practicing it . The reason behind this apart from the hackneyed sentimental one is not tough to guess. Actually they are not quite sure about their sexual potential & thus feel insecure to try it out upon girls who are not that innocent.
3> here comes the inevitable “parent point”. Now I don’t have much idea about how hard they try to secure the virginity of their sons but in case of their daughters they do their best. Is it just because they are frightened that their innocent girls may unknowingly land into domains of problems like threats from bad boys, unwanted pregnancy, STD etcetera [the third predicament is pertinent to the boys as well, & the 1st one to our gay friends]. Or are there some more implicit intentions behind their vigilance? If they are so interested to ensure their daughter’s security then why don’t they give them some basic sex-educations? Every person tends to develop some sexual thirst after their puberty. But the parents keep a cautious blind eye towards all their questions about the sudden change in their body & mind ...  in Indian philosophy there is a tradition of neglecting perceptible things like the body & transmuting the total attention towards the invisible soul.

But the momentous point which we fail to understand is that the writers of such incandescent literary & philosophical works started to write them only when their life had already reached the stage of wrapping up. Most of these philosophers led an epicurean existence during the pinnacle of their youth. The evidence nestles in the walls of our ancient edifices. But we never had the habit of analyzing the so called ' values ' tough to us , let alone questioning them . Spending decades in mugging up during academia has not failed to leave its upshots. So we always present the unnecessarily glorified example of the self restraint of our ancestors towards our children. & we fail to realize the whole concept of self restraint was never a part of the culture of this country. Its origin lies the Victorian era & it was embedded upon us during the 200 years of colonial rule.

Now let's talk about the boys2men . One of my best friends has decided to get married to a girl he is not too sure if he loves just because the society is ruthless to people like him who are over 30 , single and don't have the intention or courage to go to brothels to satiate their need. And the worst part which this poor soul is not yet aware of is that marriage in India ( or in any nation i guess) is just the beginning of an unofficially official celibacy-hood ! For  those of my friends who are not so old and 'committed' , the commitment was mostly imposed than intentional because a casual ONS is unthinkable here. Aren't you suppose to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince / princess ? Apparently , NOT in the  birthplace of Kamasutra . Here you're supposed to get married to the 1st frog you meet , give birth to some hybrid children and make life a hell for them by fighting with your spouse for the rest of your life and yet refusing to file a divorce in fear of depriving the kids of a 'wholesome' life.

But then , i hope India is getting back to its roots ... If not in the real cities , in the e-city at least. The 'E'-xistence  has emerged as a means of liberation for us.  I just saw a glimpse of it in the FB status update of Mr X . I am proud of him . Just one suggestion as a microbiologist : ' be careful of the retroviruses'! 


Ordo Ab Chao said...

The society u talk of exists in India but not in all the aspects

Point 1 : Women do not "show" sexual hankering but yes they surely make efforts to put that feeling inside the gray cells of the counterpart male organism who is always the gullible dog

Point 2 : Which season of Mahabharata are you following. None of them really are gonna get pure unbroken virgins. They know it for sure these days. In fact, they are more afraid of not getting one than getting a laid one.
But they sure want their GF and wives to know what exactly masturbation is? I tend to disagree on that thought of yours, in fact, porn is just another extension these days due to the unavoidable circumstances that emerge because sex is forbidden, and the act of having sex is seen something that can only happen after the society agrees to it, via various rules like marriage

Point 3 : Parents are not to blame. When parents grow older enough to have children they are not transformed to Pentium 4 from 1. They stay the same. So blaming them is actually stupid. They dont give sex education to children coz they themselves do not know HOW to educate the children on sex. May be coz it never happened to them, so they are always wondering when is the best time. But yes i agree that there is a tradition to drift towards the invisible aspects of life

Yes the pathetic situation of India today is that where we talk of sexual democracy and secularity and boast of ourselves as the nation of kamasutra, we are forbidden from having sex at so many stages of life, when we should be encouraged to do it.. and enjoy it in the right way

ishan said...

full in depth nuts & bolts analysis :-
@ ur 1st point - "A woman shall never show her sexual hankering", this statement is not much relevant b'coz of the fact that
men have been continously falling prey to women's orgasmic slaughter!! LOL. But seriously, the male jingoism factor doesnot even stand
a chance, because today's man is a blend of unprecedented cowardice & pusillanimous traits, and hence are becoming sex slaves.
Another reason to chuck the male chauvinism factor is our Constitution (which I've always held in the position of highest respect).
Our Constitution has given the total sexual liberty to women & women only, and its so easy for the lady to get the man behind
bars (even after exploring the bedsheet together with full delight). So a man gotta respect women, if not respect rather fear them!

@ ur 2nd point - The guy who's having 20GB porn collection is no ubercool (60GB is commendable). The guy's too lucky if her WAG is not a virgin
because all the males and more importantly females equate "innonence" to "virginity" (just like u 've done here). But a very good thing
mentioned is the man's sexual insecurity factor. If that's the case he should continue whacking off for the rest of his natural f***ing life, instead
of seeking an "innocent" woman. For the woman I must say she can find speckles in men's underpants but cant see the plank in her own
goddamn eyes! A woman is always interested in a man who's rich or having a good job, who's calm & gentle. So she's more in love with luxury
than sex. On the other hand a man never much cares about a woman's career, he's interested only in those women who are shall we say sexually
attractive. So even if the man's sexual potential is less than the woman's, its the woman who intends to be asexual. The man is very often called
predator, vulture, etc (and all the other terms used by women to address men, u know very well) for his sexual appetite, so this is a testimony
to the asexual attributes of our women (whom we love so very much).
We must detest our society if it forcibly makes her lead a sexual life!!
Its my solemn desire and I hope the desire of our entire nation that a more tolerant society shall emerge!! he he

Sudipto Karmakar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sudipto Karmakar said...

Some day I will do a detailed psychoanalysis on this Indian sexuality thing and I believe it will be quite true to what you said.

One thing I have always believed is that our previous generation is at fault for whatever is wrong with today's India. Having brought up in a free India where socialism was the forte of the government couple with license Raj and strict censorship under the disguise of preserving a vague thing called cultural identity, our last generation has ruined it all. The generation before that having struggled in a land of British Bosses actually thought quite futuristic. And We being brought up in the globalized liberalized Internet age are gradually realizing the folly of our parents. But even then the progress have been too slow owing to reduced IQ levels, too much policing of parents and teachers(the so called torch bearers of culture) and in some cases lack of thinking capabilities....

The result is a weird sense of virtues and values one of them being what u mentioned- the typical Indian sexuality