Sunday, November 14, 2010

Random Thoughts

Thoughts keep on multiplying and after some days they just fade away in some murky dungeon of our memory where they are left to rot. I don't know if blogging will ever help me or my thoughts in any manner , but I guess i just don't care. I don't write for getting clarity or attracting audience or steering up a revolution (All these things will be nice perks though!! ) . After abstaining from blogging for too many day , my brain and my heart just start smelling like shit , thanks to those over crowded dungeons and I've no choices left but to let some of these prisoner out into the void . They all start screaming in joy in the sudden enthusiasm of experiencing freedom and thus create a chaos more powerful than the one created in the beginning of the universe !

Bottomline : I'm back to blogger's page after a long time and don't quite know what to write about . But let's try , nevertheless . 

The trip to my hometown , as i surmised , made me feel so uncomfortable that i was beaming with joy when i finally went onboard the flight back to my real home-town , Bangalore . But strangely enough , after the 20 days stay in the place where i spent my 1st 20 years of my life, my hostel which always made me feel so much at home just seemed like another hotel . And i wanted to hit the road again , i wanted to go back and finish the conversation i always wanted to have . But i just didn't know what exactly do i wanna talk about. But i needed some time . Those 20 days hadn't presented me with a single chance to do what i originally intended to do ... ie just talk nonsense with the hope that they'll make all the senses of the world. 

Thus, my enlightening trip to Mathura-Vrindavan  began ! On train i learnt , once again , not to judge people by their face values . Thus my pejorative lover co-passengers turned out to be quite nice and helpful individual and after a small adventure of jumping off a running train and walking in the bleak light of dawn with 40 male strangers and travelling with 9 of them in an auto , i finally found a bus to Delhi which dropped me at Chhotikara , a highway bus stop from where shared giant autos for Vrindaban is available for 5 bucks . 

The much needed 'talk' didn't take place in this tour as well but thankfully , the need itself was gone. It's miraculous how a hug can save the trouble of speaking 10,000 unnecessary words .

I'd come to Vrindavan twice before , 1st time was when i was in 6th standard ie on 1999 & 2nd time was when i just finished my 10th standard board exam ie on 2004 . Vrindavan has changed . It's charm was in the innocence of the Vrajbasis' smiles , in the warmth of their helpful voices and in the ever present wonderment in their wide open eyes. Now, all these has changed . You can't get a direction here without being chased by a pestilent guide for the next 40 minutes . You can't get a change of 50 bucks from any of the shops unless you buy something . And the ogle of the eyes does nothing but making a girl feel grossly underdressed !

But then the spirit of Vrindavan is still intact in the rural areas,  spared by the 'Hare Krishna' followers , where the blatantly wealth centric outlook has not eclipsed all that these people once hold close to (Ops , am i sounding like a lal jhandawali ? ) . 

As for me , some of my tangible traits have changed for sure . 7 years is a long time. 12 years is even more so. But one thing has not changed : the most memorable moments of even this tour came when i was talking solitary strides and lone hikes , lost in my own world . Previously some people will be there to physically escort me but they could never reach anywhere close to my ever drifting mind . Now , the distance is both physical and mental . The indignity inflicted upon solitude must be the conspiracy of a florist who wanted to sell a merit-less , thorn intensive , red flower to his customers. We can never actually  get rid of our so called loneliness thus it's time we had stopped trying and just be happy that at least our own thoughts are there to accompany us when we're watching a brilliant sunset from the Yamuna riverbanks.  Who know, we might suffer from Alzheimer's tomorrow and even this thought wont be there anymore . Only one matter of concern is there in the entire scenario and that comes in the form of clicking your own photos . I can't wait for the day when those Japanese scientists will come up with robot cams !! 

Hopefully i'll write a detailed travelogue of my Vrindavan tour soon , but not today . It's time to raise some other questions . Today is international children's day. And i wont talk about the obvious issues of child labor , child prostitution and infant trafficking. I'd leave you with you own conscience regarding whether or not you chose to employ an 14 year old to look after your 11 year old kid. I'll talk about us . The ever bulging middle part of the income pyramid : the little ones in our family and the little ones even present inside our own souls.  In my trip to WB , i met a kid after a gap of 7 years . The 5 year old child is on the verge of his teen-age now , and strangely enough i was still treating him as a 5 year old .I know i hated being treated that way as a child . But the same myopia is clouding my visions now.  I wonder if we ever ever really change from what we become in those formative adolescence years. To really know a human being even remotely , we must know take a trip through his childhood  memory .  Please take a closer look to your 11 year olds . With all your vigilance over her life many things might have escaped your senses numbed by adult pride. Thus , next time she wants to spend less time with her chachaji , rather than rebuking her for lack of socializing skills , ask why. Don't under-estimate the perceptiveness of that 9 yearite, he's more than capable of understanding your sarcastic comments . Please dont drive her to recitation classes when all she wants is to dance . The person in front of you in not an extension of yourself as genetic inheritance can never assure an intellectual inheritance as well. So, sometimes just let him be. Just like any other so called 'days' the concept of children's day is bogus . She is finding her own way in her own sweet time. Every day is her's . She just needs you to be there to console her if she falls , not to reprimand her or to show her every steps . Are we grown up enough to treat our kids in that way ? 

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