Aboltabol

Dear Friend,

So, I've successfully completed my 1st week alone. Ops! sorry. I haven't given you any clue regarding why so very natural a thing might be worth mentioning in precious virtual spaces.Well, the reason is even though i knew that ""loneliness, far from being a rare & curious phenomenon,is the central and inevitable fact of human existence", I never actually was given the freedom of being completely on my own.That chance came for the e 1st time almost 2 weeks ago,when i took admission in this Bangalore based B'school.

Of course my parents (along wid my grandfa ) came here with me and unfortunately the day they left for Bengal, I couldn't even go to the station to say good bye.Their train was @2pm but i had to say good bye @8.15 when the white college bus came to pick us up.That's the last memory of them as of yet.My mom in a red salwer,clutching the dupatta to her face to hide the tears.I did my best to held the tears till the bus started and their image faded into the march of so many other memories I've left behind.And then my eyes went misty.

But the sense of loss didn't last long.I actually began enjoying my solitude(I didn't have any roommate).My sense of humour was not really applicable here.Like all other emotional and cultural aspects each state has its own humour norms.The system here could not read my files and as of yet I am not ready to download some software which will be able to read theirs. But an incorrigible optimist like me needs no consolation. I am not happy. But then I never was happy. the good thing is that i am not unhappy either.I like this place. Less humid than kolkata,less crowded and less hot.

Even though the Internet connection in the hostel is quite low,I manage to talk nonsense with unknown people over the net.And in real life somehow miraculously i've managed to form the image of an erudite,spartan,reticent Bengali. So, in order to carry out the normal activities of a human chatter box, net is my one and only sanctuary.

Did I tell you about the freshers party?I guess,I'll upload some photos.Not much interactions took place b/w the seniors and the so called juniors(in an MBA institute, determining senectitude can be rather tedious)and so we had this introduction session a few days ago in the college itself.It coincided with the birthday of a student named Lalit(That poor guy was woken up from slumber at 12 am in that night and was fed an overdose of semi burned chocolate cake)...nothing interesting took place.

I'll soon post my opinion about each student of our dept but before that i must mention that

1.I went to the "brithish library(that's what they call BCL here)" and transferred my membership.I can take 5books and 2 magazines but no DVDs. I didnt go for the 3book+1DVD scheme for 2fold reasons.one>It's so far from our college that i wont get chance to return those DVDs and the 2nd and the main reason is that the collection is rather poor here.

2 amusing things happened while coming back.one>BC is situated in such an odd place that no bus to my hostel was available from there.An employee of BC actually came to help me,offered me a ride in his bike and dropped me in a bus-stop.I know i should consider this as pure goodness,but my cynical heart just refuses to do so!!!two>a girl was sitting behind me in the bus.When i asked the bus driver to inform me where to get down,that girl said she too was getting down at Singasandra(that's my stop).So far so good.but after getting down she actually clutched my hand with warm affection an throughout the journey to the other side of the road(it's a long journey as a fly over is situated in b/w and so there's no way to cross the road directly)never actually let it go!I know I can never have "gaydem" but I have this gut feeling that she was lesbian.Poor me!My so called "straight-ness" deprived me of a straightforward chance of dating a beautiful human being,a commodity almost extinct now-a-days.

2.Yesterday I went out to watch a movie at PVR located at the forum.Thankfully my classmates decided against paying 200bucks for ice age and went out to eat at some Chinese restaurant. Finding out that restaurant took an eternity but the food was good there and I snatched the mug of beer ordered by one of my classmates and and barely left anything for that poor fellow and didn't even bother to pay for that.Afterwards I was terrified of the bill they'll entreat but to my relief the amount was 130 only.I felt happy about saving 70 bucks and entered into a Buskin Robbin's shop to buy a scoop of icecream only to be charge Rs-71 and came out cursing myself.And the worst part was I had to pretend to be unperturbed in front of them!!! Anyway,we returned at hostel at nearly 12 and so this was probably the 1st time in my life I stayed out so long with my friends(of course I never let THEM know that.rather I created an impression of a complete party animal to whom every single thing of Bangalore is so inferior than her beloved Kolkata!well,most of the times they are inferior so the 2nd part is true)...

Before closing this missive I'd like to boost about one achievement. I am teaching Bengali to a few classmates.But then had Asitbabu(de la history of Bengali Literature) been alive he would have commit suicide at the mere sight of my teaching process...A good thing about being in a place where nobody understands your language is that-nobody understands your slang too...so you can vent your anger whenever you want to!!!

Another news is that I am in the editing committee of the college magazine. and mercifully nobody contributes anything in it so I've been exempted from further workload!!!

More news will follow...Let me know about the latest books/movies you read/saw.

With Love,

Suchandra

Freedom and Me

The word “Freedom” is the most complicated the most treacherous, the most ambiguous, the most enigmatic and yet the most enthralling word of my limited vocabulary.

What is freedom? When for the first time I grasped the meaning of that word? I believe there were many keys in my life which helped me to unlock the doors of thousands of bondages to admit me to that divine kingdom where you’d believe that you could fly!

Going back a several years through the lane of memory I can see a helplessly curious child, with wide eyes still limpid, who used to look at the night sky & the material world would become imperceptible to her then. If you were present there & if you had seen the reflection of the stars in her eyes; then probably you could apprehend some amongst the endless emotions which used to bubble up inside her heart. I am sure R Kelly got the inspiration of his song from by looking into such a pair of eyes.

& the azure sky flooded with golden sun rays were no less awe inspiring. She lived in an alien world then where in the realm of the unadulterated beauty & care of Mother Nature, to barrier would dare to impede the wild gush of imaginations.

Years later a the animated version of Johanna Spyri’s Heidi used to evoke the same kind of emotions.& some years later Bibhutibhusun came with another key which let into a world where our oldest friends would welcome us with their unspeakable aronyak enthusiasm, which were misinterpreted as nonchalance to untrained eyes! Running beneath the starry skies on horseback was surely the definition of freedom[though Maneka Gandhi may raise up the sordid question regarding the poor beast’s freedom. but believe me whenever you’ll picture yourself properly in such an environment, the horse will become a part of you!

Then came Sharatchandra & Kamal & I was christened to sacrilege. Then through the magical door of leaky cauldron, a different kind of freedom was tasted which helped to overcome the bondage of insecurity & inferiority of a “Bengali medium” student.

Celline Dion was the person who handed me the key of western music which witnessed many of my blessed moment when I experienced the bliss of freedom!

Computer brought a very personal & private world free from the gaze of inquiries. Internet gave free access to vulnerable human mind & its endless emotions! & also the freedom of publishing my crap writings as the form of Blogs!

A lewd experience in Brindavan ensured the freedom from religion. The most wonderful freedom I’ve ever experienced. British Council Library with its solemn racks of thousands of books has till date been the heaven of my kingdom of freedom. It was here where I came across the creations of Paulo Coelho which showed me the freedom of distinguishing spirituality from religion.