The One Question (Which led to(o) Many)

After a break of nearly 5 months ,it's time for me to once again appear for the test .. No. i am not talking about the trimester exam which , BTW, will start from this Monday . I couldn't have been less bothered about it, but then , that's evident from the fact that in-spite of having a deadline in submitting a 5000 word digital marketing assignment by eod , the only words that i've written so far was in form of writing this blog. I am actually worried about a more critical exam : The post-trimester-visit-home trip . And it's gonna be even tougher this time thanks to the fact that this trip is clashing with Durga Puja and I've scored a same side goal by handing them over a topic to verbally rape me with : My recent Exeter trip . Generally , in occasions  like this , I embrace the neutral energy of the universe by choosing to retreat from the battlefield and by far my two dearest friends have always helped me to find some escapeway (some lame excuses to be precise). But , this time I don't have them by my side . For the 1st time in these short twenty one years on Earth all (and that's a small number) of my friends are committed , distant and busy with their boyfriends with whom they'd spend the rest of the year anyway . So, i have to face my enemies and win the battle , all by myself , as Celine Dion would probably put it across. So, the million dollar ONE question is : " How am i gonna avoid my relatives' inappropriately inordinate eagerness to butt into my (non-existent) relationship stories ?"


I always hated some occasions : Valentine's day , New Year's day, Swaraswati Puja (that is, untill I left WB) & the most evil of them all : Durga puja . Now, i come from a jiant (that is a hybrid of  Joint & Giant) family and we've a 'pujo' of our own . In my childhood i'd wait eagerly for these 5 days & my new clothes but then since when I turned 10 & into an atheist , these 5days became intolerable .  Even after 11 years my mom has not quite been used to the fact that i don't participate in puspanjoli on Ashtomi. But, that's not the only reason why i feel; well, not myself during these puja days. See, Durga puja is a time when you're supposed to spend the daytime with your friends and the night with your boyfriend. Now don't get me wrong . I am sure most of the average bong couples have done nothing more adventurous than finding a quiet place behind the alter , frequented only by mosquitoes which followed by the girl realizing that her lipstick was not really smudge proof. But these silly couples who will probably not even last beyond the Laxmi puja had an amazing ability to make me feel depressed not to mention that the cobalt blue sky , small white pansy of clouds and the smell of 'Shiuli' flower made the case even worse. So, I'd spend my un-happening noons reading pujo sonkhya and avoiding irritating relatives and would go to bed by 11pm only to stay up all night eavesdropping to the faint sounds coming out my window facing the alleyway. 


All these can be tolerated when you know that amongst all those people out in the road , there is no one you know but this time at least two ,  amongst those millions of hands holding each other , will be of my two true  friends'. And i am happy for them but a bit sad for myself . And that led me to introspect a bit. I never really wanted to an officially committed relationship. I am way too much independent for that. Probably what i need now is a contract basis man whom i can be with for the 3 days and then just erase from my life . But the word ' no strings attached' is not really very famous in India. Alternatively I can search for my yon true love in 2 weeks and the chances of finding the one from so many out there in so less time is minuscule : ‎4.59*10^(-)8% ( & ever declining) to be precise ! 


But then , do i even need the one for myself ? or is it just like getting a new Mochi stiletto : pretty (OK! I'll be honest: TERRIBLY ) uncomfortable to wear but looks gr8 and people notice and praise . But, why do i need people & convention to validate me ? Why do i need a man by my side to see a beautiful sunset when the mellow voice of Norah Jones in my i-pod would be more than sufficient? He'd probably smoke , spit ,fart or say something dumb and destroy my mood altogether. Isn't it a tad too much to expect that a Knight in a shining armor will come & break that invisible wall around me when , my own parents couldn't even guess there is a wall? And also , wasn't the armor always more important than the knight itself?  I guess we're all just a bunch of armors ... we never take it off even when we're , pardon the phrase , butt naked and in deep shit . So , in this puja when my friends will be holding the hands of their beloveds , will i be able to hear the inaudible sound of a metallic clang ? 


One thing is for sure... The only Knight i am ever gonna meet up close personal with no armor , is , Myself . And i am pretty cool with that. But, that being said , it wouldn't be bad to show off some shining armor to my relatives this time ... After-all , All marketers are liars & All's fair in (fake) love and war (with clingy relatives )!!!


PS : I dont have an i-pod , just mentioned it to make this blog sound cool ;)