There and Back Again!

Yesterday I walked for a long time. I had decided to go to some unheard station in the the morning but there's no local train from bangalore city station on Sundays. So, I did a station strolling and while coming out got caught by the RPF and couldn't even show them the platform ticket cause I din't have one. They asked me to pay a fine of Rs300. I had the money with me but I told them I didn't. They tried to make me feel scared for 5 minutes and then gave up hope and just let me go.  I loved walking on the footbridge while I was there in the station. The footbridge on Ramrajatala station was my favourite destination as a kid. Probably it was one of the tallest structures of the town and I often used to nag my dad to take me there. Yesterday was father's day: I am not comfortable talking to my dad over phone. But I wanted to be near him , feel close to him. So, I went to a place where I can see the trains. Not just because he is a railway employee but all my interactions with him were somehow closely related to trains or railway stations. And I've a weird habit of associating  things with people and people with things : somehow the differences get blurred to me.

I was feeling restless again in the evening. I had recently shifted to this PG and had no room-mate until yesterday. She came after I came back from station. She came with a red heart shaped pillow. Well, in true sense it wasn't of the shape of a real 'heart' ; after-all, different creatures have different shaped hearts and none of them are barely similar to the 1st result you get when you do a google image search of the word 'heart'; but this pillow was the shape of a heart designed by greetings card companies. But this fake heart disturbed me a lot. All those things I was determined not to think about started nibbling my brain and I went out and started walking, I knew where I wanted to go and I also knew I was not supposed to go there. But I wanted to make the journey nevertheless. After all, it's often the journey and not the destination that matters. It was a beautiful evening and though there was incessant traffic through the road, the footpath was empty. I knew what my destination was. I just wanted to see the bridge which connects Embassy Golf Links Road with Indiranagar. The bridge to Indiranagar was more than just a bridge, it was a representation of a lot of other things. And then I got a phone call. Iris Murdoch one said (I am not sure about Dame Murdoch , but at least Kate Winslet said that while enacting her) :

'as you start to define such and such a feeling, language lets you down. It's really a machine for making falsehoods. When we really speak the truth, words are insufficient.'

I always believed in those words even before I heard them. And that's what happened. Language once again let me down : let us down & I started taking the 3.5 km long walk back to my new place of residence.


I walked for a long time today as well. Somehow I've not yet suffered from Monday morning blues in this new job of mine but I sure did suffer from Monday evening blues today. In the evening when the work was over and it was time for me to go back home I suddenly realized I was all alone in a city with no close friend and with no place to call my home (my PG was yet to earn that status). So I walked past my PG and wandered through the lonely lanes and by-lanes of Koramangla 4th block all these while surreptitiously waiting for a phone call which never came and soon realized that I was lost. But then I saw the Natural's Ice Cream shop as I did on 21st December 2010 after losing my way, only then I had this foolish notion that I wasn't alone even though I actually was. I never need any excuse to have ice-cream but today I honestly needed some and I had two scoops of two different flavors : jackfruit and papaya-pinanple. There was a Barista lavaza down the road : again a flash of memories... or the lack of it : even in the memory I was disturbed  and was walking alone. What had changed in 6 months? Nothing and everything. Would I ever want to erase the time in between if I had the scope? No. Because somewhere between these very similar two scenes there were two lifetimes' worth of experiences : good, bad & ugly , though not in the same proportions. And the best part was I learnt a lot of things, most important of them all is that I've learnt nothing at all.


I was exhausted after 2 hours of walking post a (not so) hectic day at office and then I saw the road home: after-all, home is where your heart is and my heart is still with me, no matter how much wounded or bruised it might be!

SFFT

Staple foods are foods that are 'eaten regularly and in such quantities as to constitute the dominant part of the diet and supply a major proportion of energy and nutrient needs.' But we all know them and have our own set of staple foods based on our geographical location,climate, culture, season, personal preferences and bank balance.


Sudden drastic change in one's staple food can make one suffer from various gastrointestinal issues or at least some level of mental discomfort.


However, there is another kind of staple food which, in-spite of being no less important than its dietary equivalent, is often neglected. These are the staple foods for thought.We're all aware of the famous Rene Descartes axiom : 'I think therefore I exist'. Thus a drastic variation in staple food for thought can jeopardize our entire existence.



What are staple food for thought? Traditionally for my (male) predecessors it used to be the morning news-paper, customary fortnightly visit to the local library and most importantly, 'adda' with the countryfolk on various topics ranging from politics to philanthropy over fuming cups of chai.Post the omnipresence of television, the 7 o clock news took its share in SFFT for middle class bong men. Women, especially the housewives had their own set of SFFT : the afternoon movie on Sunday, the FM, 'sentimental' ( courtesy V. S. Naipaul) novels written by female (and sometimes, male) authors and most importantly, their day to day household chores.  For me, it was mostly movies. By being a 'classic' membership card holder in British Council Library, I had the privilege of borrowing 2 DVDs each day and thus on an average I'd watch 10 movies per week.



But, has globalization and internet changed our SFFT? A quick primary research (ie a quick chat with all my g-talk contacts) shows that the most common SFFT for internet savvy modern urban youth is discussions on social media: Twitter , Facebook. Television has been replaced by youtube. Flow of information all around us should have made it easier for us to access to newer SFFT. However, the most important aspect of a staple food is that it is supposed to be consistent and it should provide proper nourishment not just momentary freedom from intellectual hunger. However, in this era of IPV6, all we get as SFFT are fast food. It's dangerous to survive entirely on fastfood eve for a short period of time. Long exposure to fast food or making it the SFFT can result into the intellectual obesity of an entire generation , culture or nation. Maybe it's time we search for some sustainable and healthy SFFT!

Hard Times

What's the connection between the new commercial of shiksha.com and Rebecca Black? While the first one portrays herd mentality in the commercial, second one rose to fame because of herd mentality.Confused? consider this IM convesation:

X: I hate Rebecca Black.

Y: Me toooooo... Btw, Rebecca who?

The undertone is when everybody is hating something, even if I've no idea what is it, why shouldn't I hate it too? Nothing substantial happened in the e-sphere on the week following the release of 'Friday' on youtube. Only when Michael J. Nelson tweeted 'Friday' as the worst video ever made, the phenomenon of disliking this video started. No matter how much you love to hate this video, most of you have watched this more than once and the 'success' of this video is probably one of the best examples of viral marketing.Now, time to go back to books(or even google would do!). I've already mentioned three key words of this black (and no! none of them is Rebecca) and let's spend some time pondering upon their definitions.

Viral Marketing: Marketing phenomenon that facilitates and encourages people to pass along a marketing message : In Rebecca's case you did that. You showed the video to your friends, you mailed and tweeted the video link and put it as your status message. And apart from all these , you also spent some of your precious time on earth making parody of this song and/or listening to the parodies made by others.

Trend: A general direction in which something is developing or changing. A vanity video made my a 13 year old girl became the most watched video in youtube. The girl is a child celebrity and she's 'trending' on twitter. But is this trend but a fad? Well, probably it is but it completely altered the lifestyle, career and bank balance of a lot of stakeholders: Rebecca, her family, all the most viewed parody makers, youtube or even i-tunes.

Herd Mentality: Herd mentality describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors, follow trends, and/or purchase items : We did all of it: we disliked the video even though we've seen worse videos than this one and didn't bother to dislike them, we kept track of the new parodies on Friday and we even bought them on i-tune.

So, can we say that it's our herd mentality that promoted the viral marketing of this video which in turn, made it a trend? 'Friday' is no doubt hilarious and outright  stupid to say the least and it's auto tuned. But is it worthy of the title 'worst video ever' ? Or are we committing a type One error here by rejecting her side of the story straightaway? Even I laughed over Friday and enjoyed the parodies more than the video so, I am not trying to defend or eulogize Rebecca Black. But while listening to these Black-parodies , somehow I remembered '12 angry men': the immortal 1957 film staring Henry Fonda. People like Jury#8 were always minority in this world: few people have the rare courage of voicing out their true opinions, unless they are super-achievers in some field ( and even then, they probably try and maintain savoir faire). But, is internet shoving these people towards the blink of extinction? Forget about voicing out our opinion. In this era of all pervasiveness of media, do we even have 'our' opinion ? While technology has provided us with numerous ways of making ourselves heard, it has also induced us to forget to think. Thus what we express and how we behave mostly depend on what we heard in the numerous herds around us! 

The irony of the shisha.com ad is while no-matter how much it tries to appear to be anti-herd mentality, this same trait can actually be a breadwinner for them if the student community follows this trait while logging into this website! 

Thanks for the Memories!

Wee Student Warranty Scheme (WS^2) : A Story

Disclaimer : This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents  are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, or organizations; living or dead, in business or bankrupt , is entirely coincidental.


How many layers of baggage does an individual carry with herself? John
Donne's famous 'No man is an island' becomes even more relevant if you belong to the institution where I had the (mis)fortune to do my MBA from. Here, a (wo)man is definitely NOT an island. She is not even an archipelago or even a  nation , a continent, the world , the solar system. And blimey , she is not even the Milky Way. So, what is she? She is the universe itself , integrated in every matter , dark matter and dark energy. 


I know , what you'd ask next. 'Dude , cut the crap and tell us the real story.'


Well , there's  a Prelude to the story and that's probably even bigger than the story itself .


Let's begin ...


I used be a normal person once upon a time with normal dreams which were implanted in my brains in times when the only Christopher around was kept safely inside the flaps of our history text book. All those dreams used to hover around the word 'Money' and my folks back there at home knew only one route to direct me to that ultimate Moksha.


10th --> 12th --> Graduation --> MBA --> M

Though i didn't do anything exceptionally well in academics , I more or less followed this path and even  completed MBA from Wee Willie Winkie School of Management aka We and landed myself with an internship with Houyhnhnms Inc.  

Generally , every fairy tale ends with the princess being betrothed to the Mr Right. Thus a modern day fairy tale should end with the princess being employed to the dream Job , taking an one-sided vow to fulfill her duties in sickness and in health , in recession and in economic boom , in joy as well as in clinical depression till attrition do them part !

But my story starts after the end. When the friends and relatives were done with bestowing their blessings , when the induction honeymoon period was over , when initial awe over the amazing infrastructure was subdued , I suddenly found myself myself alone in my workspace with a plethora of mails flooding my outlook express. I was finally , officially a salary drawer. The entire office awaited like a virgin to be touched for the very first time by my footmarks . And then I opened my mails ! 

Well, what was told that I'd have to do during interviews had obviously no relation what so ever with what I actually was supposed to do. Basically my worked required doing things that any computer literate teen ager will be able to do. But then that's something which is inevitable in a job scenario. 

The actual problem started with my intention of looking for rationale behind doing menial tasks that were given to me. One suggestion if you want to prosper in a work environment STOP USING YOUR BRIAN. The organ that you'd need to use extensively in a job is your tongue  and even if you're a vegetarian and have never tested any animal-food before , be prepared to lick a lot of lather 'cause till today this is the only material that is used so extensively in footwear.And if you're from an Institute like Wee Willie Winkie School of Management, you must be prepared to see people will less educational qualification or intelligent quotient than you walking away with the M when all you'll get is just horse's fart. 

Anyway my lack of skill in both of these activities soon created a breach between me and my centaur (You'd probably have a mentor but this is Houyhnhnms for God's sake!). And then the unthinkable happened . I discovered that Wee Willie Winkie School of Management actually offers Student Warranty Scheme. There's a 24 hour helpline to reach out to the centaurs if any student-employee malfunctions in the organization. If there's any trace of over activity in the grey cells of any student-employee , there's a provision in which the centaurs can reach out to Wee Willie Winkie School of Management and  the institution will sing lullaby to the students to make their rebel grey cells fall asleep again. The student employee is also emphasized upon the point that an organization is like the land of the in-laws the kind you'd often find in an arranged marriage , the faithful wife aka the student employee should fulfill all the needs of her in-laws and if at all a divorce becomes inevitable , that should be discussed between the in-laws and her parents (Houyhnhnms  and Wee Willie Winkie School of Management respectively, in this case) and the wife herself will have no say in that matter even if the legal marriage certificate (offer letter) states otherwise. And also the student employee should also think of her actual parents and the trauma it'll cause to them if the embellished story of her non-performance reaches them. And what implication will it pose to her co-students , friends, well-wishers , her countrymen , the war worn middle east . the megalomaniac Uncle Sam, the dwarf planet Pluto , the milky way and the universe ?  After all an employee student is not just a person , there are so many stake-holders related to her! 

'What about the husband (Job)' , you might ask , 'Isn't HE the principal stakeholder?' . Well, in my case , he is the most irrelevant character of the entire story . So, that's how the WS^2 works, the three principal stakeholders being :1.(The employee student +The entire universe - The job),2. Houyhnhnms  3.Wee Willie Winkie School of Management.

Ingenious , isn't it? I am yet to find out the other provisions under this scheme but what an incredible combination of ancient Indian family system and modern Customer Relationship Management !

I urge every Management Institution and Organizations to enter into such a Memorandum of Understanding . And what about the student employee ? When was she ever relevant anyway !!! 

@ PGDM E-Biz 09-11, WeSchool Bangalore

I've a rather bad reputation for not being inclined to 'Hindi Songs'. But today , for the past one and a half hours, I am listening to a song by KK. It's called 'Yaaron Dosti'. It all started when, after ages, I logged on to my FB and started going through my old pics @ WeSchool.  It's been almost two years since I met you guys on 13th July 2009. These two years passed by as quickly as two hours and they left memories worth two lifetimes (And memories are all that we have cause I dont think WeSchool offered us anything amazing when it comes to professional value addition !).

Emotional humidity evoked by memories has some very weird principles. 

#1 : People can never truly understand it unless they were part of those memories at some point in their lives. I never understood what this hullabaloo over hostel life was all about until I came to Woodstock. 

#2: It makes us do irrational things like crying like a child or writing poems . 

#3: It makes us think that we can do the impossible. That's exactly what it is doing to me right now by provoking me to write this. This blog is just a vain endeavor to articulate some of the memories that are flashing against the giant screen of my memory.

2009-2010

It was one fateful Sunday afternoon in July when I came to that cockroach infested , toilet stenched D312 of Woodstock Ambience Pvt Ltd. Don't get me wrong. I loved that room. Probably even more than my current room , ie D206. That room was my first 'home away from home'. I'll never be able to forget it. Anyway,  I wasn't carrying a blazer that and so I had to meet the G-Sec. Somehow, when I heard the name Andrea D'Costa , I was expecting to see a delicate , svelte girl and no wonder I mistook Tuesy B as the G-Sec when I entered  Andrea and Gauri's room(These two were my 'room neighbors' BTW!)

Ravi was the first person who introduced himself to me when Professor Dr. Salunkhe gave us the clear instruction or rather command to call him 'Professor Dr.' Salunkhe !

We were given only half an hour to get ready for our fresher's party in Solitaire. I will never forget the weird dance steps of Captain Kanade unless I get affected by Alzheimer. It was on this day that Tuesy and a few of us discovered that Purvi was Mrs Purvi ! 

Remember HR class,  Mis Savitha and the weird groups . Remember the Elephants' team comprising of Andrea and Handa among others ? Remember Kaun Banega Crorpati where Big B's son was hosting the show and Jamil and not Jamal was the winner? Remember the six feet guy who climbed up the chairs to make Savita remeber his name? Remember the Skits? I still can feel the cold winds when I think of the skit practice sessions at poolside. 

It was made mandatory for us to obtain the messy food of basement mess. This is where we met Vishi and formed the Prameya team with Rashi , Glin , Amna and Priya B. And there was a huge controvery over Ritesh's poem on boys and especially girls of PGDM E-biz!

Remember the initial crushes ? Remember the lovestruck gals and boys?  Remember the friends who thought their friendship will last forever but who were wrong?

And then there were a few new faces who joined us. Dolly , Sarang , Dhrumin , Swamy sisters, Anshu , Sakshi. Both of the later two were supposed to be my roommate, but they ended up becoming each others roommate while I got a few more days to enjoy my newfound  solitude.

Independence day celebration was the first occasion where we successfully did something together. @ Ravi and Aditya : Remember the practice sessions of 'Assam se Gujrat tak?'

Then came our juniors . The PGDM 09-11 batch. I  finally had a roommate. Every one was scandalized at the possibility of a swine flu case in woodstock. Especially Gauri , who had a bad fever.

Remember Gauri's Schumacher speech ? Remember our stats prof and the chocolates? Remember Mangesh's protest at the live conference with Prpf. Dr. Salunkhe. I loved that . Proud of you , buddy. But , it made us compulsory for us to attend outbound and I had to cancel my flight ticket. 

@ Ritz, Abhi & other crew members : Remember Alta ki ek Dhar?  Ritech, Deshmukh : Loved all your parody songs buddies. Thanks for not writing one for me.

@ Shine, Rash , Manisha: Remember the Four Musketeers club ? The awesome 25th Dec and tour to Hoganakkal ? 

Remember how we all went to Rex on 1st Jan 2010 to watch Three Idiots ?

And then we're busy withing procuring our summers. This is the time when I played holi for the first time. 

One of the best part for me on first year was that I got to visit many places thanks to all these competitions !

As if it was only yesterday that we were preparing for our seniors' farewell . Now, it's time for our own. 

The second year was great but for me at least it was never as good as the first year. 

We all saw a lot of things in these two years. Friendship , love, heart-break , team spirit, PJs, Back stabbing, tears , laughter. 

This two years at woodstock was the first time I was staying away from my home , my parents. On 15th July 2009 , when I couldn't stop crying after my parents left for WB, Andrea sat beside me at bus and said one thing: 'We're your family here. We'd take care of you.' I truly felt that in each day of these two years. I had found friends here who were even closer than my family members. 

We live in a world where everything decays eventually. I don't expect that we'd remain best of friends even after parting from WeSchool. Probably distance will change a lot of things. Probably the best good friends well gradually grow apart. But these memories will stay on. So would all these photos(Unless there's some software compatibility issue or you're careless enough to lose your hard disc) . And probably , after 30 years , when we'll go through these memories , these silly snaps will make us have smile on our eyes. And in our darkest hours these memories will show us the way and comfort us with the sweet reassurance : 'All izz well'!

Untax the Syntax please !

 My relatives are nowadays using mostly three adjectives to describe my current state. Unemployed, jobless and worthless (Bekar) .  The reason behind their suddenly evoked interest in me is because of the fact that I am not paying tax to the honorable govt of India. I am not trying to emulate the venerable director of my B-School and be an expert in  the art of tax evasion . It’s not that I don’t pay tax, actually , I don’t need to pay tax cause I don’t earn a penny.

Anyway, back to my relatives and the adjectives mentioned hitherto. While blatantly using any of these three words in any sentences aiming to reprimand me, what my folks seem to miss is the subtle difference between these apparent synonymous words. Their conjecture is that they would no longer need to use any of these decorative eulogies the moment I dive into the cesspool of a nine to five (whom am I kidding? It’s actually 8am- 11pm) ‘JOB’. But just because you’re in someone’s payroll doesn't mean that you’d cease to become the moron you were prior to wearing the feather crown of  8.5 per annum . So, if someone is worthless now , she’d continue to remain so even after getting a job. rather a moderately gifted individual can develop the contagious corporate brain rust within 2 months into her  first job. Whether it’ll affect her or not will depend on how many grey cells are left unaffected even after the two years of oxidative and corrosive MBA environment.   Coming to the second adjective, Joblessness of the so called jobs are a worldly accepted fact and something which I encountered first hand during my internship stint. The most common job one requires to do religiously is something which could be best learnt in ‘Ustad Massage Institute’ and not in a ‘B-school’!

So, I am worthless, jobless and unemployed. But I have this grave hunch that the first two behavioural conditions will continue to remain unaltered even when I am employed ! 

Writers Block & Ticking Clock

How's it possible that the first month of the nascent (?!) year would pass by without a single post by  this crackpot blogger? Considering the fact that the concerned anthropoid used to write several posts in a week, you must be eager to know what kept her so occupied for a while that she forgot her ain true love : trying to save the world from the energy crisis by giving constant supply of natural gas in the form of blog posts ! So, without further ado let's try and rescue our dear planet. 


But before that lemme present my arguments to the jury :


Almost 180 years have passed since Raja Ram Mohan and  Lord William Bentinck banned the practice of Sati : the vicious practice of burning the widowed Hindu women alive in their husbands' pyres. We were unfortunate enough to witness such practices even in 21st century. But media has overlooked a modified reincarnation of this nauseous practice which has transcended any parochiality such as religious or gender borders. In the new Sati-system coined by the great Indian private B-Schools, any human being belonging to any gender (male / female or transgender) can willingly choose to be a Sati in the time frame of Dec to March during the final year of their MBA. And the re-branded avatar of this 21st century mass Sati system is knows as ' Placement season'. The senile husbands can be anything ranging from a company which has already filed bankruptcy to an assignment where you've to sell A K 47 to terrorists as a part of your OTJ training. The moment you've been tied up with any groom , the parental responsibility of your institution will be over. For the years hence after , you've to burn in the hellfire of an industry you've no clue about , a job you absolutely detest and the onus of the gargantuan educational loan. Are you asking what will be the plight of those who would absolutely refuse to get married to such pathetic grooms and enter into the burning pyre? Their cries will be obfuscated by the hullabaloo of the college promotion activities , modern day equivalent of the 19th century conch shells and drums.  




Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I admit to the guilt of not writing a word for months. But you be the judge :  With each passing moment I'm moving closer to my doomsday. With the eminent threat of such excruciating death , which intrepid soul can concentrate on anything else? After all aren't we supposed to secure our own future before we venture to save the planet?  

Death of a Scribbler ?

I once remember mentioning that writing for me was just a means of escape from my reality. So, if I start enjoying or worse loving my reality, will I Stop writing? The inspiration behind any creation what-so-ever is basically some form of passion.  Can I ever be as passionate to any other emotions as I was to my desolation? But then, the origin of the word passion lies in endurance and suffering. So, is it that all creators are basically emotional masochists? Do they have to attract affliction even if there's no trace of it? Would we really put an effort to create something if the world around us is gregarious to our most unjust appeals? Don't the angels envy us the Earthians just because the trace of imperfection in our lives which makes us so colourful and unique? Why would one ever feel the need to articulate any of her feelings in any form of creation if she's too busy just absorbing and experiencing all the gifts nature can bestow upon her? If we're too busy caressing the time of our life we won’t really bother to reflect upon it or to document it. Thus we need emotional troughs as much as we need the crests (if not more!). Creations occur in those troughs when we've a hint of bereavement from those crests, when we can sit back and ponder upon the flow of apparent chaotic events and be thankful for what life had offered to us!

Sunday night bakwas :

Who knew that the combo of coffee, chocolate and coldness could be a possible stimulant to a tsunami of senseless thoughts?  No, tsunami probably is not the right imagery here. At least this natural calamity has some pattern. My madcap thoughts ran like a sinister panic plan crafted by the Joker himself. They left me dumbfounded and vulnerable because I couldn’t foretell the nature of the next thought which might be generated from the unfathomable profundity of my subconscious. Thus, each of these thoughts had some new weapons to strike and pierce my terrorized territory of consciousness with. But then, I guess I needed this. Unless the archetypal villain comes to slaughter you, you’d never probably search for your superhero. And unless you turn on that distress sign,   years of non-action will turn your mighty superhero into a vestigial being. Soon, you'll start looking outside in search of a backup hero. But, no-one can know your villains better than your own hero. Cause your hero emerged from the same unknown alleys of your existence as these villains did. Only your own hero can help you win this guerrilla warfare and the outsourced heroes will be as helpless in places like this as American soldiers in the jungles of Vietnam. So, have faith in your hero, have faith in yourself. Never let your hero fade away into oblivion. Together, you can win any battle the world might pose to you ! 

Random Thoughts

Thoughts keep on multiplying and after some days they just fade away in some murky dungeon of our memory where they are left to rot. I don't know if blogging will ever help me or my thoughts in any manner , but I guess i just don't care. I don't write for getting clarity or attracting audience or steering up a revolution (All these things will be nice perks though!! ) . After abstaining from blogging for too many day , my brain and my heart just start smelling like shit , thanks to those over crowded dungeons and I've no choices left but to let some of these prisoner out into the void . They all start screaming in joy in the sudden enthusiasm of experiencing freedom and thus create a chaos more powerful than the one created in the beginning of the universe !

Bottomline : I'm back to blogger's page after a long time and don't quite know what to write about . But let's try , nevertheless . 

The trip to my hometown , as i surmised , made me feel so uncomfortable that i was beaming with joy when i finally went onboard the flight back to my real home-town , Bangalore . But strangely enough , after the 20 days stay in the place where i spent my 1st 20 years of my life, my hostel which always made me feel so much at home just seemed like another hotel . And i wanted to hit the road again , i wanted to go back and finish the conversation i always wanted to have . But i just didn't know what exactly do i wanna talk about. But i needed some time . Those 20 days hadn't presented me with a single chance to do what i originally intended to do ... ie just talk nonsense with the hope that they'll make all the senses of the world. 

Thus, my enlightening trip to Mathura-Vrindavan  began ! On train i learnt , once again , not to judge people by their face values . Thus my pejorative lover co-passengers turned out to be quite nice and helpful individual and after a small adventure of jumping off a running train and walking in the bleak light of dawn with 40 male strangers and travelling with 9 of them in an auto , i finally found a bus to Delhi which dropped me at Chhotikara , a highway bus stop from where shared giant autos for Vrindaban is available for 5 bucks . 

The much needed 'talk' didn't take place in this tour as well but thankfully , the need itself was gone. It's miraculous how a hug can save the trouble of speaking 10,000 unnecessary words .

I'd come to Vrindavan twice before , 1st time was when i was in 6th standard ie on 1999 & 2nd time was when i just finished my 10th standard board exam ie on 2004 . Vrindavan has changed . It's charm was in the innocence of the Vrajbasis' smiles , in the warmth of their helpful voices and in the ever present wonderment in their wide open eyes. Now, all these has changed . You can't get a direction here without being chased by a pestilent guide for the next 40 minutes . You can't get a change of 50 bucks from any of the shops unless you buy something . And the ogle of the eyes does nothing but making a girl feel grossly underdressed !

But then the spirit of Vrindavan is still intact in the rural areas,  spared by the 'Hare Krishna' followers , where the blatantly wealth centric outlook has not eclipsed all that these people once hold close to (Ops , am i sounding like a lal jhandawali ? ) . 

As for me , some of my tangible traits have changed for sure . 7 years is a long time. 12 years is even more so. But one thing has not changed : the most memorable moments of even this tour came when i was talking solitary strides and lone hikes , lost in my own world . Previously some people will be there to physically escort me but they could never reach anywhere close to my ever drifting mind . Now , the distance is both physical and mental . The indignity inflicted upon solitude must be the conspiracy of a florist who wanted to sell a merit-less , thorn intensive , red flower to his customers. We can never actually  get rid of our so called loneliness thus it's time we had stopped trying and just be happy that at least our own thoughts are there to accompany us when we're watching a brilliant sunset from the Yamuna riverbanks.  Who know, we might suffer from Alzheimer's tomorrow and even this thought wont be there anymore . Only one matter of concern is there in the entire scenario and that comes in the form of clicking your own photos . I can't wait for the day when those Japanese scientists will come up with robot cams !! 

Hopefully i'll write a detailed travelogue of my Vrindavan tour soon , but not today . It's time to raise some other questions . Today is international children's day. And i wont talk about the obvious issues of child labor , child prostitution and infant trafficking. I'd leave you with you own conscience regarding whether or not you chose to employ an 14 year old to look after your 11 year old kid. I'll talk about us . The ever bulging middle part of the income pyramid : the little ones in our family and the little ones even present inside our own souls.  In my trip to WB , i met a kid after a gap of 7 years . The 5 year old child is on the verge of his teen-age now , and strangely enough i was still treating him as a 5 year old .I know i hated being treated that way as a child . But the same myopia is clouding my visions now.  I wonder if we ever ever really change from what we become in those formative adolescence years. To really know a human being even remotely , we must know take a trip through his childhood  memory .  Please take a closer look to your 11 year olds . With all your vigilance over her life many things might have escaped your senses numbed by adult pride. Thus , next time she wants to spend less time with her chachaji , rather than rebuking her for lack of socializing skills , ask why. Don't under-estimate the perceptiveness of that 9 yearite, he's more than capable of understanding your sarcastic comments . Please dont drive her to recitation classes when all she wants is to dance . The person in front of you in not an extension of yourself as genetic inheritance can never assure an intellectual inheritance as well. So, sometimes just let him be. Just like any other so called 'days' the concept of children's day is bogus . She is finding her own way in her own sweet time. Every day is her's . She just needs you to be there to console her if she falls , not to reprimand her or to show her every steps . Are we grown up enough to treat our kids in that way ? 

The One Question (Which led to(o) Many)

After a break of nearly 5 months ,it's time for me to once again appear for the test .. No. i am not talking about the trimester exam which , BTW, will start from this Monday . I couldn't have been less bothered about it, but then , that's evident from the fact that in-spite of having a deadline in submitting a 5000 word digital marketing assignment by eod , the only words that i've written so far was in form of writing this blog. I am actually worried about a more critical exam : The post-trimester-visit-home trip . And it's gonna be even tougher this time thanks to the fact that this trip is clashing with Durga Puja and I've scored a same side goal by handing them over a topic to verbally rape me with : My recent Exeter trip . Generally , in occasions  like this , I embrace the neutral energy of the universe by choosing to retreat from the battlefield and by far my two dearest friends have always helped me to find some escapeway (some lame excuses to be precise). But , this time I don't have them by my side . For the 1st time in these short twenty one years on Earth all (and that's a small number) of my friends are committed , distant and busy with their boyfriends with whom they'd spend the rest of the year anyway . So, i have to face my enemies and win the battle , all by myself , as Celine Dion would probably put it across. So, the million dollar ONE question is : " How am i gonna avoid my relatives' inappropriately inordinate eagerness to butt into my (non-existent) relationship stories ?"


I always hated some occasions : Valentine's day , New Year's day, Swaraswati Puja (that is, untill I left WB) & the most evil of them all : Durga puja . Now, i come from a jiant (that is a hybrid of  Joint & Giant) family and we've a 'pujo' of our own . In my childhood i'd wait eagerly for these 5 days & my new clothes but then since when I turned 10 & into an atheist , these 5days became intolerable .  Even after 11 years my mom has not quite been used to the fact that i don't participate in puspanjoli on Ashtomi. But, that's not the only reason why i feel; well, not myself during these puja days. See, Durga puja is a time when you're supposed to spend the daytime with your friends and the night with your boyfriend. Now don't get me wrong . I am sure most of the average bong couples have done nothing more adventurous than finding a quiet place behind the alter , frequented only by mosquitoes which followed by the girl realizing that her lipstick was not really smudge proof. But these silly couples who will probably not even last beyond the Laxmi puja had an amazing ability to make me feel depressed not to mention that the cobalt blue sky , small white pansy of clouds and the smell of 'Shiuli' flower made the case even worse. So, I'd spend my un-happening noons reading pujo sonkhya and avoiding irritating relatives and would go to bed by 11pm only to stay up all night eavesdropping to the faint sounds coming out my window facing the alleyway. 


All these can be tolerated when you know that amongst all those people out in the road , there is no one you know but this time at least two ,  amongst those millions of hands holding each other , will be of my two true  friends'. And i am happy for them but a bit sad for myself . And that led me to introspect a bit. I never really wanted to an officially committed relationship. I am way too much independent for that. Probably what i need now is a contract basis man whom i can be with for the 3 days and then just erase from my life . But the word ' no strings attached' is not really very famous in India. Alternatively I can search for my yon true love in 2 weeks and the chances of finding the one from so many out there in so less time is minuscule : ‎4.59*10^(-)8% ( & ever declining) to be precise ! 


But then , do i even need the one for myself ? or is it just like getting a new Mochi stiletto : pretty (OK! I'll be honest: TERRIBLY ) uncomfortable to wear but looks gr8 and people notice and praise . But, why do i need people & convention to validate me ? Why do i need a man by my side to see a beautiful sunset when the mellow voice of Norah Jones in my i-pod would be more than sufficient? He'd probably smoke , spit ,fart or say something dumb and destroy my mood altogether. Isn't it a tad too much to expect that a Knight in a shining armor will come & break that invisible wall around me when , my own parents couldn't even guess there is a wall? And also , wasn't the armor always more important than the knight itself?  I guess we're all just a bunch of armors ... we never take it off even when we're , pardon the phrase , butt naked and in deep shit . So , in this puja when my friends will be holding the hands of their beloveds , will i be able to hear the inaudible sound of a metallic clang ? 


One thing is for sure... The only Knight i am ever gonna meet up close personal with no armor , is , Myself . And i am pretty cool with that. But, that being said , it wouldn't be bad to show off some shining armor to my relatives this time ... After-all , All marketers are liars & All's fair in (fake) love and war (with clingy relatives )!!!


PS : I dont have an i-pod , just mentioned it to make this blog sound cool ;)

* E* & the City !

U might tag this blog as the re-incarnation of the rebel . After surviving from an air pocket and an extended jet-lag , I thought of using this lucky holiday to document my experiences of the past 4 days as a form of a travelogue (or traveblog to be more precise ) but  a chance encounter to the FB status update of a friend changed it all. So, here i am using the nets of the virtual world to fish some junks out of the surface my not too deep sea of (sub?)consciousness. 1st thing 1st . Here comes the status update :


" Abhinav Singh Thakur : Two no holds barred nights in Mysore with a beautiful stranger, with the promise of never to meet again. Can life get any better ;-) "

Doesn't this immediately evoke the memory of ' Before sunrise / Before Sunset' series of movies to you? It did to me and i was horrified to realize how difficult it is to have some 'good time' in this country which is the proud origin of the greatest sexopedia ever and that too written some 1800 years ago. The reason of the 'starrified'  heading of this post is that the word 'sex' , even in this era of globalization , remains a tabooed word in India . Thus an innocent picture of  PDA uploaded by my friend in FB attracted much public ire. Now the entire issue of PDA remains controversial but is it really a sin to upload the picture of a smooch online when the media is flooded by the surfeit of pictures of death and destruction ? Somehow & somewhere along the 18 centuries between 200 AD and now , hypocrisy has become an inherent trait of Indians. Thus even though the young generation loves cracking 'non-veg' jokes ,they seldom participate in open (all pun intended) conversations & they still believe in the concept of retaining one's virginity till the wedding night (or pretends to at least ) . And it's worse for girls . 

What does the society [which consists of both the males & the females who have been imbibed with the male chauvinistic philosophy] expect from women?
1>A woman shall never show her sexual hankering. This rule may have an exception when the girl is a complete stranger or a mere acquaintance with whom the male partner has no intention of having any relation the moment the deed is done.

 2>Now comes the uber-cool Boyfriends . Even though they may have some 20 GB of hidden porn folders in the hard disc and have jerked off numerous times : they not only always expect their girlfriends or wives to be virgins but also they want them not to know the meaning of the word masturbation, forget about practicing it . The reason behind this apart from the hackneyed sentimental one is not tough to guess. Actually they are not quite sure about their sexual potential & thus feel insecure to try it out upon girls who are not that innocent.

3> here comes the inevitable “parent point”. Now I don’t have much idea about how hard they try to secure the virginity of their sons but in case of their daughters they do their best. Is it just because they are frightened that their innocent girls may unknowingly land into domains of problems like threats from bad boys, unwanted pregnancy, STD etcetera [the third predicament is pertinent to the boys as well, & the 1st one to our gay friends]. Or are there some more implicit intentions behind their vigilance? If they are so interested to ensure their daughter’s security then why don’t they give them some basic sex-educations? Every person tends to develop some sexual thirst after their puberty. But the parents keep a cautious blind eye towards all their questions about the sudden change in their body & mind ...  in Indian philosophy there is a tradition of neglecting perceptible things like the body & transmuting the total attention towards the invisible soul.

But the momentous point which we fail to understand is that the writers of such incandescent literary & philosophical works started to write them only when their life had already reached the stage of wrapping up. Most of these philosophers led an epicurean existence during the pinnacle of their youth. The evidence nestles in the walls of our ancient edifices. But we never had the habit of analyzing the so called ' values ' tough to us , let alone questioning them . Spending decades in mugging up during academia has not failed to leave its upshots. So we always present the unnecessarily glorified example of the self restraint of our ancestors towards our children. & we fail to realize the whole concept of self restraint was never a part of the culture of this country. Its origin lies the Victorian era & it was embedded upon us during the 200 years of colonial rule.

Now let's talk about the boys2men . One of my best friends has decided to get married to a girl he is not too sure if he loves just because the society is ruthless to people like him who are over 30 , single and don't have the intention or courage to go to brothels to satiate their need. And the worst part which this poor soul is not yet aware of is that marriage in India ( or in any nation i guess) is just the beginning of an unofficially official celibacy-hood ! For  those of my friends who are not so old and 'committed' , the commitment was mostly imposed than intentional because a casual ONS is unthinkable here. Aren't you suppose to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince / princess ? Apparently , NOT in the  birthplace of Kamasutra . Here you're supposed to get married to the 1st frog you meet , give birth to some hybrid children and make life a hell for them by fighting with your spouse for the rest of your life and yet refusing to file a divorce in fear of depriving the kids of a 'wholesome' life.

But then , i hope India is getting back to its roots ... If not in the real cities , in the e-city at least. The 'E'-xistence  has emerged as a means of liberation for us.  I just saw a glimpse of it in the FB status update of Mr X . I am proud of him . Just one suggestion as a microbiologist : ' be careful of the retroviruses'! 

Ode to a stranger

statutory warning: It's NOT a poem!


Sitting in the class on a dull Friday morn,

So many people around me...

Makes me feel even more lonely.

NO. ‘Lonely’ perhaps, is not the right word.

What is it that I am feeling?

OR, am I feeling at all?

It’s not rage, neither grief,

Nor the apprehension of a bleak future...

I’ve just turned into a fossilized tree!

I see them all around-

Laughing, loving, hating, mating;

Doing some substantial work...

Or the façade of it at least!

I don’t need to put on that mask again;

It has been embossed into my face, FOREVER.

The mask of careless sobriety, mask of a joker

I am lost underneath the mound of masks.

I feel sick of the suffocation they cause,

But I can’t evade them...

They are a part of my existence now!

I can’t even recall how I used to look like-

The fuel that I once had inside me,

Is turning into a debris of unused love.

I can see my life sinking every day, every moment

Sinking into the quicksand of it.

Give me a sparkle, light me up:

Let those fuels burn me down.

I want to scream in pain,

Smell the odour of my own burning skin

& when all is gone,

Only the ashes are left,

Will you not care to search for something?

Find my soul from under the piles of ash-

It’s waiting for so long,

It’s sinking for eternity...

For thy flame to come and show it its way.

Chalachitra O Chandalika

Now-a-days, the only thing on which I consistently spend at least 1/6 th part of a solar day  is : Watching movies . Thus on this blog I'll try and write my feedback on a few recently watched movies. Some of these movies are brand new and the others are pre-historic (to me at least , considering the fact that my personal history as a human being began at 1989!). And for the 1st time in my blogger life I've decided to KISS and thus none of these reviews would be the answer of a PG level history paper. So, let's start the journey with looking back at Indian Mythology.

Peter Brook's Mahabharata: The director has successfully turned this epic into a rather parochial skirmish sprinkled abundantly with venereal innuendos which, far from giving the film a erotic hue , restricts the true potential of the epic. Though at 1st I was elated to see the use of Rabindrasangeet in this movie , soon I realized , it's a half baked effort to try to give an "Indian" special effect to the otherwise bland movie. I wont be  a hypocrite and say that Mahabharata never had any sexual connotations, there were plenty of it throughout this (or any else) ancient scripture. But like a giant ultra complicated onion , this epic has many layers which are intricately entwined by erotica.  I was upset to see the way Achilles's relationship with his lover Patroclus was being ridiculously portrayed as mere camaraderie in the movie version of Homer's epic, but the portrayal of most characters of Brook's Mahabharata redefines the word 'ridiculous'. Final Opion : Except some of the actors' brilliant performance and the elegance and enchanting beauty of Draupadi, Brook had nothing much to offer and  it remains to be  "Peter Brook's" Mahabharata , merely an obscure shadow of the epic. 

Inception:-YES, Finally I've done it . I've watched the most talked about movie of this year . The revolutionary movie which  bridged the gap between  both critics and average movie goers and became the adam's apple of both of these species . Now , on a movie of this public esteem , it's almost impossible to say anything which has not been said before. But nevertheless, I'd try and commit the same sin I've committed while writing the review of '3 Idiots' . Yes, I am gonna be one of those few who has criticized this movie. 1st thing 1st. Whatever Inception might be, this hybrid between a heist and a science fiction is NOT an intellectually stimulating film. The dreams shown in this movie has not only been dreamt but also brought into existence in films like 'Solaris' (the original Andrei Tarkovsky version) and  Matrix series. So, in the end this movie is but the extension and redecoration of the Ocean's series with a few ideas extracted from some other maestros' dreams . And the worst part was the misuse of a brilliant actor like Marion Cotillard. Seems like she was cast in this movie only as a marketing gimmick , just to evoke the distant dreams of her brilliant performance as Edith Piaf , what else can explain the use of the song "Non, Je ne regrette rien" as the only song to wake up the dreamy thieves? Fianl word? Complete waste of my 220 bucks. Could've easily downloaded and watched it from P2P sites. 

@ PUNE: So Long,Fare well,Au revior,Alvida!!!

Finally I acquired the courage and sent the email to my mentor "intimating my last day as a trainee in this company" (Subject  courtesy and content editing : the one and only DRC) !!! 


So; here at the end of the month June; as the faint monsoon drips ward off those evil sweats from your skin and decorate the tip of ur pilus with the diamond like faint yet intricate droplets from the heaven above ; I do bid my adieus to my friends @ Pune, the plethora of new acquaintances I've made here, my colleagues , my room-mates of 2 months' and above all the city itself. I know I've mostly criticized this city through-out most of my blogs but let me take this emotion drenched farewell opportunity to say a few (a lot rather) good things about this city and why I'd  A-L-M-O-S-T considered the 2 summer months I've spent here to be my summer of ' 69.


These were my 1st proper 2 months completely , utterly , exclusively under the aegis of well, MYSELF. While for the 1st 2 weeks , I was too absorbed by the idea/ habit of being in a hostel (which eventually has turned out to be an extended family for me) life ; I began enjoying my stay alone in an unknown city once the miserable 1st 15 days were over. I knew the city pretty well  by the and of the 1st week itself, courtesy my habit of aimlessly loitering around the unknown streets :) 


So, here cometh the top five lists ( Author's gratitude to 'High Fidelity')  :- 


craziest things I've done in Pune:-
5> going to MTv stuntmania alone and and dancing to the tunes of AKON in-front of 1000 scandalized spectators !
4> The amazingly unplanned Thane trip 
3> The trip to Raigarh which, inspite of being a fun one, turned out to be rather DAMP(pun intended ) and left me completely sleepless for, hold ur breath , 42 hours !!!( I must also mention here that the ropeway journey through the clouds, the beauty on the way and the eerie moonlight mountain paths while coming back left me mesmerized.)
2> The all girl bike trip to Sinhagarh 
Anddd the top of the list , the unanimous winner obviously is 
1> The  DIVE_AGAR TURNED MURUD JANJIRA- ALIBAG TRIP.


Funtime I had here:-
5> The foodaholic(s)- Day out with Karan & Manpreet which used to mandatorily include "Cafe Good-Luck"
4> The ferris wheel trip at Manaranjor Nagar next to Deccan with 2 complete strangers who turned into friends in less than 5 minutes :)
3>The tour to Lonavla followed by mad chit-chat with Manisha (and I went to sinhagarh in the very next moring @ 6 after staying up till 2!)
2> The gregarious reception at Charu's place followed by my 1st lone hike to Lonavla
& 
1> Mumbai- the friday-night (I guess I reached at 23.55 Hrs :) to Monday Afternoon Jam packed tour with all my dear friends




Breath-taking beauty:---
5> Chatursinghi Temple (It was a sunday I guess, and in-spite of the blazing heat, i loved that place but unfortunately Shanivarwada , where i ventured next, turned out to be quite disappointing though the stroll in Laxmi Rd was interesting and offer my eye with an unique yet diverse visual plater) 
& 
The serendipitous discovery of a point ,located at the backyard of my PG , from where almost the entire Pune can be seen.
4> Up and Above , courtesy a very old virtual friend of mine
3> Parvati temple :- both the trips there
2> Nariman point :- both with only Manisha & with 2MP(Manisha , Mangu & Prasanna) ;amp
And the winner? 
1> Sunset from the Arabian sea , while coming back from Elephanta caves .




Pure Rush of Adrenaline :- 
5> the Water scooti ride in some beach (can't remember the name) near Alibag
4> Back-Stroke at the Arabian ocean : -in Murud Janjira
3>Sun and moon standing at 180* in terabethia, the magical mountain of A.R.A.I , a land which inevitably reminded me of LOTR series !


Can't find anything else to add to the list .. were these 2months so less thrilling that i couldn't find an winner ? !! neway let's proceed to the next list.




NEW F-R-I-E-N-D-S / A-C-Q-U-A-I-N-T-A-N-C-E-S:-
5>Puja(My Room-mate Shailaja's Sis, the potential supermodel)
4>Dr Abdullah
3>Manpreet Rajpal
2>Kalpita Kshirsagar
1>Devayani Khare




And aboveeeee all of these , the biggest gain of all ,,, the winner amongst all these was a real quality time with myself..I absorbed the elixir out of each moment (please take a  note: m NOT talking about my project or Professional life ) and i loved myself even more(if such a thing is indeed possible) for being capable of doing so!... I just hope to continue doing so after going back to B'lore as well provided it doesn't negatively affect by still nascent career tree.. So, 'BALANCE' is gonna be the keyword! 
So, good bye Pune. The last one month of my 20th year and 1st 1 month of my 21st year were truly special thank to you. This had no doubt been the 1st summer of '69 of my life so far , I thank thee for it and hope many such are yet to come!
.....................................................................................


PS:- Top five things I'd miss about Pune:-
1>The food- the aroma of the cold coffee, sensation of mastani (@ Meridian ),  taste of the Peshwari Paratha , tinge of the freshly made poha & the feel of the Bun Maska
2>Mountain in the backyard and breathtaking view from the terrace while swinging in the hammock 
3>Lack of Traffic J-A-M
4>All Fun & No Work scenario where any week-day could have been turned into an week-end in a moment's notice!
5> Uninterrupted freedom of doing crazy things